Today I feel like I have been hit by TWO tons of bricks... in the most beneficial way possible. Maybe even three. I am so glad to have been standing in the way.
Last night I read my blog from the beginning.. not all the way through, but maybe the first year or so. I don't know whether to be worried or relieved that I cannot remember writing most of that pointless, insignificant, waste-of-time CRAP. My jaw was on the floor from the first sentence to the last. I'm a little embarrassed and surely tempted to omit, but they were and will remain a powerful reminder. I have never stopped changing. I still am. I hope never to stop.

I find it baffling that I am puzzled about my present, yet looking on my past (when I was still puzzled and depressed) the answers are so obvious. I have been looking in all the wrong places and the more proof of that I have, the more I think I've tried to prove it wrong. What the hell, Mariangela.

I don't have a word to say. All I can do is smile. I know what I want. I am taking back the reins. Haha, mother just said "Oh God she's smiling that way again. There's some new penis online." No. :) Not at all.

I simply know what I want. What obstacles lie before me and how to overcome them. There is no alternative. I can. I will.
This will all be a lesson. A memory upon which I will look back and feel like I SHOULD.



I have never felt this way in the middle of winter.
This summer should be quite interesting.