26th - this one was morbid. i'm stuck in house owned by a group of people who like to experiment with ways of killing. they don't know i'm hiding in the house, looking for a way out. i overhear a woman & a man talking about how one of the "subjects" is dying before they're done w/ him. i find my way outside, get into a car & end up crashing it into the garage, almost killing myself. then i realize it's not the same place it was. now, it's my sister's house. (wow.. what on earth could that mean?)

30th - i'm out of town w/ Gloria, she's hungry. we wander into a fancy little coffee shop. i ask the snooty lady to just give me a cheap muffin. she hands me two broken up halves of two different kinds of muffins. i have a little taste & hand it to her. see the price is $180 per muffin. freak out & get pissed that the lady would give me the most ridiculously overpriced crap i've ever seen. don't pay, just leave.

i am so excited to be going on a plane ride! ahh! & i can't brag to anyone here at work because everyone hates me or would get pissed cuz they're not going too. POO!!
...but i'm really really super duper excited! :D
i love flying.
the adventure begins in 1hr & 48mins!!

i've been meaning to upload these for a while....

i know i should be asleep right now. tired, I may be, but i haven't the will. sleep is just uninteresting lately. what use is it without dreams? i have this song stuck in my head. call me easily influenced, but i felt change in the air, standing there appreciating the evening breeze with Torne. a good kind, i think.
of course, i go bounce around throughout these days between sunshine & storm clouds.. then, there's like today..... a fucking hurricane. but i'm lucky enough to have someone who knows how to slow it down.

there are times when i'm sure i do not exist. others i don't care as long as this dream doesn't end. i don't think i would be able to function without it, anymore. & to think, i used to be terrified or surreality. because, of course, to be insane is imperfect. bring it on, i love myself more now than i ever have. & look, now someone came along for the ride.

i like how we just fit.

So, we're done with our work & now is the wait for the freshly retarded batch of techs. SOMEONE here is being fucking passive aggressive & frankly, she should stop flattering herself that I give a shit. :)
Women are fucking retarded. Seriously. I don't get it. Did I do anything to you? No. But it matters not, either way. You annoy me & if you mattered more to me, we would have a problem. But since you're so miniscule (HAHAHAAHA... yeah.) you really haven't the slighest influence on my mood.
So, fuck you and have a nice day! :D

i'm in such a good mood today. just thought i'd brag to the world about it.
it's great how good music makes me work better & faster. :) i'm super excited about flying in... 3 days? i'm excited about a lot of things that are stuck in my head today :P

Current music: Party Like A Rockstar Instrumental

this sure does feel INCREDIBLE. like i'm standing on top of the world. i feel your pull on me. i'm gravitating towards you, but you're so so far away. & the closer it gets, the stronger i feel. i'm amazed & in awe..

baby, i adore you.

not getting married, tho :P
just a witness.

look i tried to put the glamor effect thingie on it...

made it all blurry....er.
ehh, it's a camera phone.

is the feeling of fighting with every once of strength inside you against something that should come as natural as breathing.
i should know how....

i am a masochist in that, i already know the agony i will be in tomorrow. tired. cranky. lacking energy. yet i continue to stay awake. i'm tired as i type this now. but something keeps me from doing what i KNOW i should be doing. lingering somewhere in one of the dark corners in my brain hides the notion ....the sneaking suspicion that i will miss something if i close my eyes before it is something that is in my control. *mental slap* this is silly. i need rest. i need sleep. i need a break from the insanities of reality. i need the sanities of my own warped little mind. to get lost in the feeble naivety of my dreams.
this is your brain, sleep deprived.
careful, kiddies. it could happen to you!

oh yes.. you too, my dear. even you.

seriously...
i think i'm slowly losing my mind.
how exciting.

oh yeah, check this out: myspace.com/phentaphobe
quite cool.

i took a completely unscheduled, unofficial break this weekend.
tomorrow it continues. i would say i'm starting all over again, but i'm already two thirds of the way there. i'm patient. i am stubborn. i am determined.


i am a freak.

haha, jk. i'm not that cynical.

Silly people. Silly, silly, stupid, I'm-such-a-sorry-specimen-of-life people. UGH.

ANYway..
the fourth was not bad. Not to bad at all, if I do say so myself. Jenny was over by my sister's house so I got her to walk with me to the square for the fireworks. We got RIGHT there up close to them, then turned and headed almost in the opposite direction to find Steven. But we didn't find him till after the show. Ah well. Lucky him, getting to drink publicly & buy his own alcohol. Lol. I'll have my day soon enough. Drinking isn't really all that interesting to me anymore. I've pretty much had my fill. Now it's more just a form of entertainment when I've got nothing else to do. Mmmm coffee <3
Well I'm gonna go. My head's not really into blogging at this particular moment & they're always much better when I am. I think. Remind me later to tell you the tale of how we chased a DOUCHEBAG out of my sister's house & down the street in the early hours of the morning of the 4th. :)

Ta ta!

i'm at work. i'm bored. there's nothing to do. i can't afford to clock out this early. & all i can think about is how beautiful it is outside & i can't wait to get home. lounge around the pool. mmm. it's lovely.

ah, this is what it's all about. being awake at 2am, feeling like the world is asleep and left you in charge, to keep an eye on it. :D i'm always in the best moods this time of night and i rarely have a particular reason why. i like that.
Angie didn't come back tonight. that's kind of a bummer. she's the only reason i came home. well... that and... stupidness. i cleaned up my room. my bathroom. did some laundry. but don't get me wrong, i love this time to myself. no one's watching. i'm free to be utterly me. :)
i was reading some old posts on here from a few months back. hah. wow. interesting. only remember saying those things now that i've stumbled upon them again. hmm, yeah. don't really have anything else to say about THAT.
i wanna go to the library. i've been way inspired to read lately. no clue why. i have a stupid $3 late charge for a dumb book i never finished reading. >:(
anywho, tomorrow my family is getting together for the 4th, since we all have our seperate ways to go ON the actual 4th. it doesn't feel like july. i'm not sure what exactly what july feels like.. but it seems too early to be july. where did june go?! eh, i was saying that about may in the beginning of june. guess i'd better just get used to the time rug being swept out from under my mind feet. ooh, i like that one. (hence the bold font; you catch on quick)

i'm odd. :)
it's fantastic. i hope i never stop amusing myself. it makes life's bullshit a little more tolerable. i didn't get much time in at work today, unfortunately. ugh. i COULD transfer to norcross & get full time AND benefits. i fear i do need a more reliable car for those little (hardly) ventures. i'm gonna do some more poking around and see if i could figure out a way to carpool with LarLar. could we tolerate eachother everyday? hmm. i hope that works out nicely.
i don't mind leaving the sad, two-faced little people at this office. as i'm sure "THEY" won't mind my absence. don't see how i could possibly be competition, though. i am THOROUGHLY uninterested. even if i wasn't already ABSOLUTELY INFATUATED with someone, i have better taste than... THAT. oh, yeah, and i'm not desperate. :) & flirting with co-workers is tacky. so THERE! talk shit about me all you want. just remember, while you do it, i'm mentally patting you on the head with pity.
well... i guess i should probably get some sleep tonight. might be a good idea, what do you think? yeah? yeah. okay!

nite nite, beautimous world.