ugh. i'm bored. just redid the colors n stuff on this bitch. everyone went to bed at the same time. wtf man? it's only 1:30am. on a SATURDAY! hello people! you're not supposed to go to bed till late :) especially since halloween parties are goin' on everywhere. but whatever. be lame geezers. dammit. well, there's nothing good to talk about so..

i'm outtie!

okay so i just went to my nephew's preschool's halloween party. my sister and i were the hottest of the hotties there. in fact, we were probably the only ones... other than that 5 year old...... i mean
hah jk. aaaaaaanyway. i'm sittin here talking to mark. and josh. i haven't talked to him in months.
okay so back to the halloween party.. i was about to get sick from all the candy. i didn't have much at all but my stomach has been actin retarded since i got sick the other day. so my sister and i left with my nephew and decided we were gonna go get her some fake eyelashes and fishnets for the party she's going to tomorrow night, and ........can someone please fucking tell me? WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET FISHNETS??!! ...besides retarded ass hot topic. we went to walgreens, kroger and CVS and they are still nowhere to be found. i thought we should go to walmart but i guess she was tired from our travels (pussy) so we came home and here i am. speaking with fellers and writing in here. they're watching me =/ and touching themselves.... sick. lol JK. i'm in a half hyper, half awesome mood :) hope it lasts
i'm outtie

....no really i did!
hah. anyway. today i did nothing. it's my sister's and her husbands first anniversary so i'm babysitting my nephew while she goes out and does whatever with him. good thing my nephew fell asleep on the couch like 3 hours ago. it's been an easy night.

chris just showed me something disturbing:
http://uploads.ungrounded.net/266000/266937_pubertypals.swf
enjoy.

okay well i guess i'm gonna go listen to music some more.
nite world!

i could run away
i could give up
and end it all
but death is a question
no one will know
if i leave now
so i won't give up
i won't run
because i want to know everything

the title says it all. i know i constantly complain about it, but i really truely seriously am lonely. it's killing me. i hate it. i need someone. i miss caring about someone. i hate that i feel incomplete in a way when i don't have someone, but it's true. it just feels wrong.
and there's so much drama going on with my family these days. it drains me. i feel numb.

i don't care about anything

okay so last night was friggin spectacular. i'll never forget it. my sisters took me to the maximus cabaret which is a male and female strip club. it has a dance floor and everything. the bar tender was great. he gave me a few "unofficial cokes" *wink wink* so i was feelin good. i got vip dances from one guy throughout the night. i almost raped him multiple times... but that's another story.
as we were leaving the bartender opened the door for us and told me that i WILL be coming back in a month. and i was like "...maybe"
it was really fun. even tho it was torture having an almost naked guy with a body like whoa dancing all up on me. one of the other dancers told my sister that he's never seen the guy i got dances from act like that with another girl. so i'm special! =D
my sister didn't like my dancer. she said he was cocky and she doesn't like cocky guys. but that's part of what attracted me to him =P plus his body was.. mmm.
he was skinny.. but built. so HOT! i like skinny guys for some reason.

ANYWAY!

i might maybe go back in a few weeks.. maybe. i dunno. it was fun but it's so frustrating lol. okay i'll shut up about it.
hmm what else is there to talk about?
ooh! i got a new purse! lol. it's cute. it's one of those silver sparkley ones. like you see celebrities carrying on tv and stuff. but that's not why i got it. its really cute. but i'm sure no one cares about my purse and i have nothing more to say. so bye bye!

i just wasted about 3 minutes of my life watching that pathetic excuse of a music video that ashlee simpson just came out with. the music sucks. the words suck. she sucks. the only part of the song that i came remotely close to liking was the chorus but even that wasn't worth hearing. ugh. not to sound conceited, but i can sing fuckin 249174987 times better than that ditsy spoiled brat, yet she's the one with the record deal. life is fuckin ironic. ugh!!!!
anyway. i'm not really mad i just don't think that the media should entertain the idea that this girl has an ounce of talent. AAAAAAAANYway!
it's late. Lael's gonna take me to the chiropractor "today". i am soooooo ready to go. my back has been KILLING me. and i haven't gotten my back adjusted in months!
my friday is gonna be freakin spectacular! i'm getting my back adjusted, Larisa's getting here with my "surprise", both my sisters and i are going to see In Her Shoes (shut up! i'm a girl. i am entitled to a girly movie!). i never do girly things like that so it'll be a nice change from my monotonous life. then after that we're going to see a bunch of half naked men dance around in butt flossers. i'll be laughing all night. =)

Eisley - Marvelous Things


i like this song. i think it's kinda weird but i still like it. i've liked a lot of weird music lately. dunno what that's all about. but whatever. this song is cool. and if you don't like it then go die somewhere.

speaking of going somewhere and dying, i'm off to sleep.

nite world!

i'm bored

mark. entertain me this instant!!!

that is all.

well yesterday (still "today" to me but whatever) was my birthday. i'm 18! woot woot! that means i can buy cigarettes and lottery tickets and and and ... PORN AND SEX TOYS!!! lol. not that i have the money to buy them but WHATEVER it's the thought that counts =D
i'm listening to this wierd but awesome song by Ruby. it's called Paraffin. i like it.
omagosh i can't believe i haven't mentioned what my sisters are doing for me for my birthday! they're taking me to this place called the Maximus Caberet (or something) and it's like a male and female stripper dance club-ish thingamajiggie. i'll be amused. but if a guy shoves my hand down his pants it's gonna piss me off. i only touch thingies by choice. lol thingies. wow. i never fail to amuse myself with the stupidest things. ANYWAY! one of my sisters has a surprise for me and she won't tell me what it is. she's not gonna be here till friday around 7pm or something. it's gay. i mean, i love surprises. but the suspense is agony.
i got a LOT of calls from people today wishing me a happy birthday. it made me feel special. i didn't know i like being in the spotlight as much as i do. but i dunno. if i go to that thing on friday and get pulled up on stage and get a buncha shit done to me i might not like the spotlight so much. my sisters will be watching so i can't enjoy it too much =( lol. oh well. there will be other times. =D
weeeell. there's nothing much else to say. life in buford kinda sucks ass. i have no friends other than the ones i have through my brothers. which sucks because anything i do they'll know about and that SUCKS! because... i can't let loose when i'm partying with them =( not that i ever hang out with anyone AWAY from my brothers.
it was soooooo nice hanging out with Steven and Ross today. especially since it's the only time i've been away from my family for a while! thanks Steven for driving an hour plus minutes to get me!! you're the bestest!!
i'm so glad i can finally get some shit done. like my license and a decent job working full time. ugh. paying rent is gonna BLOW but it'll make me responsible and all that happy crap. and i can get my GED! i think, after that, i wanna go to GMI (georgia medical institute). my plan for a while has been massage therapy as a career but i don't know what all they have there. i have to look at the site and get a packet. blah.
well that's just about everything that's been on my mind.

chowder!