i feel like shit today. not hungover or anything, just ...contemplative. people feel so comfortable walking all over me and it's starting to get pretty old. allow me to let you folks in on something..
in this case, kindness does not equal fucking weakness and i will go straight into bitch mode if i have to. yea, okay, for the most part i'm timid and indecisive but times like this i feel like wearing a big "FUCK YOU!" sign.

and another thing... people make me sick. i understand it's fun to go out to a bar every once in a while and have a good time. but why turn it into a lifestyle? it's just sad. last night i just stood there and watched how people behave in a place like that. yea, i like drinking too. i even got pretty drunk last night and guess what?! i didn't throw myself all over the closest penis-having idiot!!! the only reason i couldn't look away is because i just couldn't believe some people's depressingly low standards and self-respect.
it just crushed a little more of my hope for the human race.

i don't know why i'm so cynical today. i'm not trying to say i'm any better than anyone. i definitly have my share of fucked up issues. i just wanna feel like there is something out there worth having. worth experiencing. i know i haven't found it yet because people are so empty. they have no substance or capability to even comprehend it. there's always something in the way, even when they do.


GOD, i just want something real.
















oh and this:
http://www.SheIsCrichton.com if anyone cares.