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Tuesday, August 14, 2007
life's a pain in my ass
i'm trying to keep my spirits up. but this is pretty crappy. everything seems to be falling apart around me and, though it's not a disaster, it's difficult to manage. i'm stressed again. bordering on depressed. but i'll remain kicking and screaming in defiance till i make my way out of this funk i've fallen into. i can't let myself forget that the best thing i have going for me, and probably my most powerful asset is my optimism and will to carry on with my head held high.
ah, i needed to give myself a little pep talk.
feeling better already.... and possibly a little crazy. but, that's nothing new :P
as i cry out, "WHAT WOULD I BE, TO YOU, IF I NEED YOU???!.....
but a burden to bear? a ball with a chain coiled tightly around your free-moving legs?" trust i value that freedom just as much as you.
don't entertain the idea that i ever have desired to become that
ever..
to anyone.
i want nothing to do with anything of the sort.
i want to be what LIBERATES you. GOD that is all i want in life. to BE the reason someone SHOUTS OUT in unabashed confidence "i am NOT ashamed!!!"
it is a lonely life...
and a lonely path i walk, to find this ideal.
but i will never give up hope...
for the one who's tool i am destined to be will find me as well. whether that person has come or gone...
i will get my other half. i will have my way with this place. i will.
i just need a friend.

the best mariangela.