today has been.. off.
i've been drifting somewhere in between anxiety and exhaustion. yesterday i went to GED orientation. found out i'll be taking all my tests on Nov. 30th. god. help me. i'll be there from 9:00am-7:30pm. i'm freaking out. i'm afraid i won't know what i need to know. i don't remember anything from social studies. i'm worried my essay for language arts is going to suck.
then i remember to relax.. and breathe. and that i have about three weeks to prepare for it all.
i want to pass with flying colors. i want to make my brother proud of me, even if its not the S.A.T.'s.
i was sitting there waiting for them to call my name at orientation thinking about how easy it would've been to graduate. if i had just been more focused on that. god damn i wasted those years. a social life seems so trivial compared to actually being able to get an education. i'm a procrastinator. i've failed so far. :(
but i'm not going to think about the would've's and could've's. i'm going to try to do some damage control and get back on the right track. make up for all the time i've lost. my sister's in college. i'm so jealous. i wish i was in school. i care more about that right now than anything else in my life.
and i'm still wasting time.

but, i'll show everyone.
i can do this.