but its here and its not going away. its made it's place. i'm fine with it. even though it will destroy me. but who really cares anyway?
i am destined for failure
but the phrases will filter through
the doubt and lies
they weave fabrication
disinfecting what's condescending
pulling me away from my own disasters
pulling me up to chaos
but this is where i belong
this is my world and language
i understand the unpredictable, i feed
the particles bring some substance to this god damn catastrophe
and i swear someday i'll be different
someday i'll be myself
who i owe it to myself to be
who i've always been
for you, but then its already too late
i'll be lost, as i am now
and no one will be good enough
i'll spiral furthur as i always do
there's nowhere to go but down
and up all at once
i don't care at all
i'm brutal, i'm honest.
this isn't real anyway.
i'll wake up and everything will be nothing.
just as it always has been.
Monday, November 6, 2006
i didn't ask for this

