today sucked. but i'll live. i got 4 hours of sleep since i slept way late yesterday. so i woke up after 4 hours, went to work have alive feeling, then i started to feel nauseous probably because of something i ate. so i tried to see if i could go home early and the fucking supid bitch in charge told me to go throw up and come back to work because there were "not enough cashiers" and it was "a busy time". she was like, "even I have to be on a register" then 5 mins later she's off socializing with other employees. see that pisses me off. i work hard and i have stayed late so many fucking times when they asked me. i'm getting fucked in the ass when it comes to getting paid and it's a shitty fucking job. ugh. i hate people. but i'm ok now because i came home and fell asleep for about 3 hours then woke up to really yummy spaghetti! as far as what's going on with me, i feel like i'm changing again, but like i'm finally starting to feel like myself again. like i'm waking up from a dream or something. right now i feel a little depressed. i know why, kinda. but it's petty and not worth saying. i just don't like myself, because of things i've done and how i feel about certain... circumstances right now. i hate how neurotic i am. i wish i could just stop thinking. stop worrying. people don't know how much of a mess i really am, probably because i hide it. but, i'm not gonna get into it. people say i'm the only one that can fix myself, but i can't fix something if i don't know what the problem is. so, i'll just sit here and listen to my depressing music and smile like nothings wrong...