this is me... updating.
hehe.. nah, here goes

for some reason, i will share with you an entry from my (*gasp*) real life journal/diary!:

"August 20, 2006
I just saw Good Will Hunting for the first time, and... WOW. It's amazing. Very good. On the top of my list. :) Changes my outlook on a few things.
Anywho...
Sept 5th I'm going to register for my GED at the Church Mom lives by. I'm so excited. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and it'll be time. I hope it happens. Please, GOD! I think I can allow myself to believe something... I dunno. Let me think about it for a while. I think I'll be okay. Like I said, let me think about it a while."

...& i pretty much still feel that way.
today was just like every other day. mediocre. boring. i woke up, drank a cup of coffee, realized i was probably gonna be late for work, realized my clock is somehow set an hour ahead, collapsed on my bed, watched tv, realized i would be late if i didn't get up, found something to wear, was late anyway.
some fucking weird ass mind-game playing crack head BITCH fucked with my head and completely shat on any good feelings i had about today. but, fuck her. she'll fall asleep tonight knowing she completely wasted her life being blind to everything but the lies she's been fed. i will not continue explaining what happened. i will just say that i will not rely on ANY man to get me through life, even if he is big and imaginary and lives up in the sky.
so....
i got a t-shirt with some celtic symbol/design/? and some crap about ireland. i'm scottish, but the stuff is a little poetic, so i can appreciate it. <3
that pretty much explains my day. i got paid. i stole some pant hangers from work. (well it's not really stealing because she would've said yes if i'd have asked, but i don't want her to think i'm taking advantage of my place of work..... SHUT UP!!) came home, took a shot of bacardi. my sister got back from Harry's (grocery store) and made dinner. mom came over and we joked around as we do when we're not biting eachother's head off.
lately i've been in a strange state of mind. it's almost like when i have anxiety... but i don't freak out. time slows down like something's off but i'm unaffected. hmm.
oh well, the days are passing like hours... where did August go?
i feel good. i feel like a little kid again. i'm not paranoid anymore. i'm just being.... it's nice :)

okay now that i've confirmed my psychoness (is that a word?.... oh well, it is now.) i think i've said all there is to say.
i'm sitting here, glancing at an empty glass wondering where my drink went. i'm a little tipsy. i'm completely content.

i'm okay. :)